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About Deviant Member ReneeFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 7 Years
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deviantID

antsandmoths
Renee
United States
Current Residence: Lewiston Idaho
Favourite genre of music: protopunk, blues punk. electric folk, garage, new wave, british invasion, blues, folk, baroque
Favourite photographer: Steve McCurry
Favourite style of art: all styles.
Operating System: my hands
MP3 player of choice: i don't understand how this applies.
Shell of choice: ^
Wallpaper of choice: ^
Skin of choice: baby skin
Favourite cartoon character: probaby something i made up
Interests
Hello. It has been a Long long time since I have graced this deviantart page, and i was quite surprised that I even remembered the email address i was using back then, let alone the password. I always promised myself that I wouldn't become one of 'those' people, who runs off from their deviantart page and makes out that now they have evolved from this site. They always give these grand goodbyes that never make sense entirely. It's almost as though they are transcending into some great beyond that us lowly deviantart folk could not ever must to understand. I assure you, that is far from the truth. It is amazing and scary to see that I had posted some of these pictures 4 years ago. 4 FUCKING YEARS AGO!!!! I know that may not be much time, but to me, it's both an eternity ago, and it is yesterday. In a lot of ways, i am still the same person, and in a lot of ways, I am not the same person. I've overcome some of my childish weaknesses, only to gain some adult weaknesses.
So it turns out that somewhere along the line, I became one of those people who bailed on you all. I had a lot of faithful followers, and some of the greatest art that my eyes have been so blessed as to look upon has all happened on this site. I really hope you can all forgive me. Really I do.
I do have a new deviantart account (that is, if you even remember me or care anymore). I don't think i will take the stuff off this site and put it on my new one. My art then was very personal, and some of it was drenched with painful memories. Since then, people have left, bonds have been broken, new paths have been taken, and those too deserted. I am not the kind of person that likes to return to my place of origin. I find it to be one of the hardest things to do. But I don't want my past to go away either, kind of contradictive. Not to sound like a tremendous hippie, but there is a Pink Floyd lyric that goes "there must have been a door in the wall, when i came in!" and it always frightened me because so much of growing up involves looking behind you and wondering where the hell the door went. You can't return to childhood. You are stuck with what you are now, and you can never go back, or be who you were.
I lost my brother, not with death, but simply by a horrible twist of fate awhile back. I even see him still, but it's not the same. It's not the same with my best friend. She ran off with a boy whom I had been deeply in love with, my muse to most of my writings and art, a person who I respected and held onto his every word, and someone that i had an almost schizophrenic epiphany that he would return to me someday. Well, he did. And it was awful. He was the most uninspired, greedy, and dead version of the boy I had known. He was a meth addict, and everything he had ever told me had been a lie. And I had patiently waited 7 years (many of those years spent creating art for this website and reading books alone in dark low income apartments at odd hours) on this knowing that someday he would show up at my doorstep. The crazy part was that he did. And what happened after changed everything I had ever known and all my relations with everyone, but he was not a good person. Instead of falling in love with me, he fell in love with my best friend. This sounds trivial, but it wasn't at all. For my best friend, it was insane. It shattered little me, and I am still trying to pick up the pieces, long after the fact that I do not care at all or even comprehend how I ever loved him so well. But my friend ran off with him, and I ended up losing her. My brother stopped speaking one day, and my sister grew to resent me. My mother irrationally kicked me out. I had nobody.
From there it has all been a lot of trial and error. Mostly error, I have to admit. I am dealing with mental unwellness at times. At other times I am doing well, and I do not understand that I am even ill at all. Which makes this all quite confusing. Because I am not well endowed, and neither are my parents, getting help is nearly out of the picture, so this only makes life harder.
I think i might be on track, but then again, I always do think that.

If you do like what I am about, and you do find yourself interested in my artwork, please watch blueberryalmondmilk. Remind me that you are watching me and I will watch you right back. I would like to take all of you with me, but i realize that it is not a likely exodus that all of you will readd me. That's okay. I may find you someday.

With great love,
Renee Sanborn
  • Mood: Love
  • Listening to: Opera
  • Reading: The Eden Express - Mark Vonnegut
  • Watching: tumblr is my thing these days
  • Playing: a college student who just had a nervous breakdown
  • Eating: cheap unhealthy food
  • Drinking: whatever comes to these lips of mine

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:iconme2smart4u:
Me2Smart4U Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2014  Student Digital Artist
May Be A Day Early But I Want To Wish U A....

:party: Happy Birthday :party:
I Hope U Have A Blessed And Wonderful Day.
May All Your Wishes Come True :heart:
Reply
:iconorion12212012:
Orion12212012 Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
:iconleothefox:
leothefox Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2012   Artist
:eager::la::hug: Happy Birfday!
Reply
:icongenkaku-kun:
genkaku-kun Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
thank you for the favorite! It's appreciated.
Reply
:iconalaskaonthemoon:
alaskaonthemoon Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
Rennnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I hope you like the presents I sent you! I know it's not as lot, but I tried! :D :heart:
Well, anyways, I tagged you in this meme...
[link]
Reply
:iconmertonparrish:
mertonparrish Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2011
Ty so much for the favs, Renee. Read your journal and left you a comment.

Peace,
Merton :)
Reply
:iconalaskaonthemoon:
alaskaonthemoon Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
heyyyyy reeeeneeeeeeeee!
deviantART muro drawing Comment Drawing
Reply
:iconkaterina-art:
Katerina-Art Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
happy birthday :party:
Reply
:iconstardust-phantom:
Stardust-Phantom Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2011   Digital Artist
Thanks for the fav!
Reply
:icongodino:
Godino Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the add of "Battersea Power Station" to your collection!
Reply
:icongodino:
Godino Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the add of "Strange Pagodas" to your collection!
Reply
:iconalaskaonthemoon:
alaskaonthemoon Featured By Owner May 30, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
:iconllamacancanplz::iconllamacancanplz::iconllamacancanplz::iconllamacancanplz::iconllamacancanplz::iconllamacancanplz::iconllamacancanplz::iconllamacancanplz::iconllamacancanplz::iconllamacancanplz::iconllamacancanplz::iconllamacancanplz::iconllamacancanplz::iconllamacancanplz::iconllamacancanplz::iconllamacancanplz::iconllamacancanplz::iconllamacancanplz::iconllamacancanplz:
Reply
:iconalaskaonthemoon:
alaskaonthemoon Featured By Owner May 30, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
:iconnyancatplz::iconnyancatplz::iconnyancatplz::iconnyancatplz::iconnyancatplz::iconnyancatplz::iconnyancatplz::iconnyancatplz::iconnyancatplz::iconnyancatplz::iconnyancatplz::iconnyancatplz::iconnyancatplz::iconnyancatplz::iconnyancatplz:
Reply
:iconmateriae:
materiae Featured By Owner May 28, 2011  Student Artisan Crafter
Thanks for the :+fav:!
Reply
:iconleothefox:
leothefox Featured By Owner May 1, 2011   Artist
:iconcircleplz: thank youuu!
Reply
:iconscorpy-roy:
scorpy-roy Featured By Owner May 1, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
thanks for adding resurrection to your collection.
Reply
:iconred1332:
Red1332 Featured By Owner May 1, 2011  Student General Artist
Thanks for the multi-faving action! I'm so glad you enjoyed them! :)
You have some amazing sketches and other art in your gallery. Thanks for giving me a reason to browse through your stuff!
Reply
:iconmertonparrish:
mertonparrish Featured By Owner May 1, 2011
Ty for all the favs, dear Renee... I am very grateful for your support of and attention to my work!

-Merton :)
Reply
:iconbriscott:
Briscott Featured By Owner May 1, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
Thank you so much for all the favs
Reply
:iconmotherearth01:
motherearth01 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you very much for faving my art. Your support is most appreciated.Have a wonderful day.
Reply
:icontenzo54321:
tenzo54321 Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks again for the favorite... it means a lot to me.
Reply
:iconm--art:
M--Art Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2011
Thanks for the fav
Reply
:iconsegroeg:
segroeg Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2011
thanks =)
Reply
:iconmertonparrish:
mertonparrish Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2011
Ty for the fav on my literary piece, Renee!
Reply
:iconedelweiss26:
edelweiss26 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2011
Thank you for the favs!! :rose: :hug:
Reply
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